Sunday afternoon, I was the best version of myself.
Coming off the back of a 4-day wellness retreat and a day's mini break to Guisborough. Nature, quiet, time – breathing like I actually meant it.
I was calm, I was grounded, I was present and making good choices that aligned with who I am working at being… I was, frankly, probably a little insufferable.
Then, I landed in London.
Within about 4 minutes of stepping off the train, the twinkling lights and bright colours of Oliver Bonas and Five Guys were speaking to me, and the resolve I'd so proudly cultivated in such supportive settings the previous week was seriously called into question.
Same woman, same values, same memory of a week past – but I was in a different room.
Let this be your reminder: your surroundings are prompting you – all of the time.
We like to think that our choices come from somewhere deep inside – that they're fused with willpower, character and who we 'really' are. But actually, they're usually just answers to questions posed by your environment.
The great outdoors asked: what if I slow down and really listen within?
The busy high street asked: but what if I really need that new candle, with a side of fries?
In NLP we call these anchors. A sight, a smell, a sound that fires a feeling before you've had chance to vote on it. The smell of chips… and you're hungry. A beautiful shop window… and you want. A yoga mat rolled out… and your shoulders drop.
You don't decide, it decides. Half a second before you notice.
It isn't weakness, it's being a human being with a nervous system.
So, armed with this knowledge, what can we do?
Notice what's asking. Spend one day really seeing your prompts: the biscuit tin in your line of sight, the phone on your pillow, the friend who loves to moan. Are they quietly setting you up before you've even started?
Make the good thing the easy thing. Walking shoes near the door, journal next to the bed, food prep done in advance. What can you do now that makes life easier for future you?
Pause and make the decision. Make choices you're happy with that day, consciously and on purpose.
And if you choose the burger and fries- enjoy the burger and fries. Make the decision, then love every minute. Because shame is a far worse prompt than chips ever were.